I had an interesting conversation with my best mate the other night. He works nights like me, so we are usually up at the same time. At about 2100 he sends me a txt saying that he is awake and bored, so being bored myself I jump in the jeep and head over to his. I enjoy driving to his, because it is about 20km away on the other side of the bay, so the drive is reasonably long, and there is some good scenery in between.
So anyways...., the conversation. I have absolutely no fucking idea how we got to it, but he said that my "Bar" was to high. When I asked him to elaborate, he launched into this giant spiel about how my standards are too high, and that was why I was always alone. I told him then that I would not compromise on how I felt about prospective lovers. Though now I am not so sure that he wasn't on some level correct.
You see I do have very specific tastes, when it comes to men. You see what I like is, blond, preferably blue or green eyes, surfer type physique, even the skater look is a preference. Not to mention that I am fond of younger guys. I am not really that fussed on the age itself, anywhere between 20 and 35 is fine, but the younger they look, the better.
He also asked about personality. Well yeah sure, I like a good personality, but to me that is just part of the whole, or half of the desired result. Yeah ok, I guess that does make me sound shallow, maybe I am? But I have to have the whole package, so I guess that I am greedy as well!
Though now, like I said earlier, I am wondering if he was right? Maybe I have set the bar to high. I don't want to be alone anymore. I still don't think I should compromise, but maybe I should soften the edges a little.
I don't rightly know..., what do you guys think?
7 months ago
10 Tactical Suggestions...:
softening the edges would bring you more possibilities to consider - you should never lower the bar when deciding on a commitment, but in finding potentials to measure against that bar, maybe be a little softer and you might be surprised
my college roomie who was dead set on finding a wife with blond hair, blue eyes, and a big rack ended up marrying a redhead with green eyes, and no chest (well, eventually he bought her a nice pair)
That.s always a hard one Octavious because if you are serious about a long term relationship the first and most important thing is that there at least there is enough attraction initially to make sure that you both feel that the relationship is going to be worth the effort and not fall apart at the early stages. Then you can always go tom cating around - satisfy a few needs - until something worthwhile crops up.But the last thing you said in your post makes a lot of sense "soften the edges a bit" It's never easy and I don't have to tell you in life we have to learn to compromise - how much is up to each individual. I wish you heaps of luck with whatever you decide.
Kindest regards Stef.
D'yer know, when we're kids we look at pictures and fantasise that this guy or that would be a great lover and that's the kind of man we want.
When we get out and look around, most people don't look like the pictures, but many are real, genuine, loving people.
Are we looking for a long-term partner based on today's looks, forgetting that tomorrow those will fade and forgetting also about his character and personality, which are mostly what's going to affect the success or otherwise of our relationship?
Hey Octavius,
This is kind of the age old argument; beauty or personality? They aren't mutually exclusive, but the more you play the field, the more likely you are to find what you like. If you "prescreen" everyone with some criteria, blond hair, looks, big dick, etc, you can miss out not just with that person, but on meeting their friends and connections. Life is really a big nexus (LOL) and you never know where a person might take you. Having said that, there are some obvious mismatchs for everyone, just don't narrow your options completely. BTW, is your best mate gay? Are you out to him?
Cheers, R
I'm about to take the same line. I was chasing the Aryan type and ended up with a Latino (a drop-dead handsome one though). Finding love is probably one of the most unpredictable quests.
Thanks for the comments guys. Your right, I should play the field a bit. Something I have yet to do in this town, even though I have been here for over two years.
@Dodger, mate I am out to everyone. But sadly no, my mate is as straight as straight can be, mores the pitty!!
Octavius.
Actually what really matters is that you and your friend(s) like the same things - or at least that you have the same fundamental values.
I sympathise with your taste in guys though.
:)
I do believe we all have our personal preferences, and meeting/chatting/dating someone cute looking definitely spices things up. However, in the end, I'm convinced what lies within is what really settles it. That is what makes it last.
How to find this one? It's highly unpredictable, love is all around us. All we got to do is open up our eyes and give it a shot.
Love
D
My taste in guys has always been pretty similar to what you describe, Octavius: younger, attractive guys, for the most part. Every guy I'd ever had a relationship with fit that mold...until I met the love of my life. He's 9-years older than I am (so, yeah, that makes him in his 60s now), with gray-hair and a bit of a paunch. And, I'm crazy about him....so, we look around at what we think we like, and, then, when love is ready, it smacks us upside the head and all we can do is be open to all the possibilities.
I think, perhaps, if I was looking, I would think in the short term (he's young, cute, well-fit, etc) but plan for the long term (in 10 years, he won't be so fit, but will you still love each other?).
Post a Comment