We really make some of the most cutest ads....

I saw this one for the first time tonite, so I thought I would share... the others are just some of my favourites... enjoy...

Back to basics...

Holy crap it's been a long time, had to really dust off the old dashboard, just to see how this thing works again! Let's see... it was November when I posted last, so that makes it what, almost five months? Yeah that sounds about right. Long time, huh? Seriously though, I have kinda been lurking for all that time, I still check up on my favourite blogs from time to time, you may have noticed the odd comment here and there. I just haven't really felt the motivation to put myself out there for a while.

Lots has changed over that time, lots of guys have come and gone and some that I never thought to see again, have even come back from the depths. Still, there's heaps of blogs I miss, I have to say, but like everything else, nature abhors a vacuum and I notice that there's few pretty good new ones too.

So what's been happening in those months? Lots of things I guess. I moved out of the last place and went clear across the city, moving in with a chick that I worked with. I say that in the past tense, because she no longer works with us. In a way, it was the biggest mistake I've made in a very long time and I'll tell you why. Everything was going great for the first few weeks, then just before Christmas, she decides to have a major meltdown at work and quits her job. Didn't have another one to go to, just ups and walks out... I mean who does that, in this day and age? Crazy bitch!

So we're still living togehter for a while, just in a purely platonic sense of corse... I mean a girl? YUCK!!! Hahahaha... Anyways, she seems to be ok, has a little money saved and whatnot, so we're good for rent and bills and the like. Then I find out one night, that she's been relying on her mother for most of the cash and she's gonna get cut off if she doesn't move home, so that's exactly what she does. I end up taking over the flat and the bills.

Like I said, kind of a shitty situation really, but at the same time, it's kinda good. I now live alone, in my very own place! Still renting of course, but my name is on the lease agreement, so for all intents and purposes the place is mine. That's kinda cool really, I feel like all grown up and shit! It's definitely an interesting feeling, when you come in the door and see a home full of a whole bunch of stuff, then remember that it's all yours. Expensive though!

So in a lot of ways, I guess things are pretty good, I'm coping with the money situation at least. Still in the same job though, which pretty much sucks, but at least I have one, right?Still single too, which is a total bummer... Or not, as the case may be... hahahaha... Oh come on... A bit of potty humour never hurt anyone!

I finished writing my first book too, for any that ever read it and am well into the second, or sequel. A few of the girls at work have read it and keep getting on me to get published. I dunno about that though, I'm still not sure that it's good enough... Not too mention the fact that I really hate rejection! Still, maybe one day, might be nice to cruise through a book store and see my own sitting on a shelf... maybe...

Well that's about it for now, I think I've bored you for long enough... if anyone even reads this drivel anymore, that is!

A little light refrain to start us off...

Must be played in the order posted I tell you... MUST!!!! Hahahaha!

OH!! And another thing...

I may or may not have mentioned... I can't remember, but I'd really like to live anywhere else. I mean the little country I live in is really starting to get on my nerves. I know that everywhere has it's ups and downs, that pretty much the whole world sucks no matter where you live, taxes, corrupt governments... that sort of thing. But sometimes, I have to say I'm pretty damn proud to be a Kiwi,

and this is one of those times.

The other the day while sitting at my desk bored out of my skull I came across THIS article on the STUFF.CO.NZ website, about several gay defence force personnel.

Who says you can't wear green and be gay at the same time. We may be a small little country of just over four and a half million, loosely associated with Australia... but atleast we show some signsd of progress!

Then of course... when you have guys like this on your team... who needs enemies?

Once upon a time in... Wellington?

Man I'm really starting to suck at this whole blogging thing. I dunno what's with me really, I've never had so much trouble saying something before. I mean usually I just open my fat mouth and a whole pile of shit just rushes out. Actually, that's a pretty funny image don't ya think? I even took a six week break from writing my book... I think it was six weeks.

To be fair, I really don't know what the hell is going on. I just feel in this kind of sticky molasses type malaise lately. Like I just can't be bothered doing anything, when I get home from work I just conk out on the bed and watch movies, before drifting off to sleep. I'm even totally behind in all the blogs I follow... sorry to those of  you that still care about me... I will catch up one day, I promise.

It's work I think, to be honest, it's totally killing me. I feel so drained. So much so that I barely even leave the house anymore, unless it's to go back to that shithole, or get supplies. Nine Inch Nails had it so totally right... everyday is exactly the fucking same! I know I need to get out more, but I just totally don't have the energy.... the sad thing is, is I'm really lonely.

I'm on the way back though I think... maybe this will become a regular thing again.

What dreams may come...

What have we done…? Where were we….? What are we doing…? What are we going to do…? How long till we realise it’s far too late… is seven poor souls enough, or does the mill need more so it can continue to grind out its meagre existence?

There’s been a bit of a furore in the news lately, over the past few months seven young men chose to end their lives. They did this because they could see no other way out. So I ask again, where were we? Where were those of us that have come before, and why can’t we see the inherent flaws within ourselves? Flaws that stopped us from seeing, that held us back, that said “It’s alright someone else will sort it… It’s someone else’s problem.” Why does it always take something truly horrible, to make us sit up and think about it? I mean, it’s not exactly hard to realise, we’ve all dealt with some measure of it in our own lives.

The mere fact that those young men, the youngest being thirteen, were gay really is irrelevant at this point. Because this crisis (Thank you Ellen!), doesn’t exist solely within the bounds of the LGBT community. It is prevalent throughout the far reaches of all society. Fat, thin, geeky, glasses, unpopular, poor, bad style sense, the very race you’re born into… these are all reasons or justifications for bullying. But bullying doesn’t limit itself to just those, oh no! Bullying is an equal opportunity employer, and sadly its ranks swell by the day. Society, religion, peer groups, or just the simple need to fit in somewhere… these are all hotbeds for recruitment. As a race of beings, we’re inherently social by nature, meaning, we like to be in a crowd… and if that crowd is bad, then that kid that everyone thought was a good kid will follow the crowd and do what the crowd does. Sad but true.

But what really makes a bully? Because I tell you this, it’s definitely not something we’re born into… it’s something we’re made into. Environment plays a big part in this, how we’re raised, where we live, what factors are prevalent in our everyday life, the opinions of of our parents or other family groups, our neighbors, our friends... the media. All those things can culminate to make a bully what they are. Generally speaking, most bullies are cowards… they are so scared of their own shadow, that they feel the need to make everyone else’s life miserable, because that’s how they feel. The rest just seems to be situational. Of course there are exceptions to every rule, and that's where the real monsters lye... but more on that another time.

Having said that, I’m not here to discuss the mechanics of what makes a bully… someone else can do that much better than I. What I wanted to talk about was the blatant hypocrisy that some people show. The best example was the massive outpouring of support shown by so many famous people during the Haiti disaster… where were those people and their money before it happened? Might have done a lot more good then. But that’s the thing isn’t it… as a race of beings, it’s far easier to show outrage and support after the fact, than it is to do anything really tangible to stop it before the crisis boils over. No, it’s far easier to react to popular opinion, than draw attention to oneself.

I’ve read posts and comments over this teen suicide situation from some pretty far reaching places… I’ve read the news, and listened to what Ellen had to say (Thanks for posting that DJ). But what does it all mean? Should we all band together to fight the good fight, now that it’s been drawn to our attention, or should we have been doing that little by little every day of our lives? Personally I think the latter would have been far more effective, but it takes work, hard work! Effort that we seldom show the likes of doing. I did, still do in fact… if that makes me a crusader, then so be it. But at least I’m consistent!

What really gets me is those people that only take notice when it suits them, or those that only appear to be on side, while in actual fact behind closed doors are some of the worst offenders… these people make me sick! And what’s worse though is the sick pleasure they seem to get from playing both sides… you know who you are… and you’re not smart enough to hide it from everyone else forever.What is it that these people really want... is it vulnerability? Do they want to keep everyone down so they can't fight back? You just have to look at the likes of columbine to understand how far you can push someone before they snap. And why is it that people can't see this when it happens, what have the all the safeguards really achieved?

They say that charity begins at home, but I tell you what… so does tolerance. There is absolutely no point getting the government involved, local or otherwise, the school boards, the police, or anyone else you can think of, until you can change the personal views of each individual human being. If someone is forced into doing something, they rebel against it… I know this to be a fact… I speed, I hate paying my taxes, and I even tried to avoid jury service the other week. Now, if I knew that all that was actually for something good, and the government asked me nicely… things might be a little different.But no... what's the point when you can just make someone do it... bend them to your will... wait, that sounds like bullying doesn't it?

Why yes, I think it does... so you see where there could be a problem there?

I have a friend… a very good friend that I care for deeply. You see, a few months ago, he made a really bad mistake, one that he has apologised for on countless occasions, yet he’s still being punished by those that profess themselves to be the great crusaders of our gay youth. Bullying comes in all forms, and this one is just as bad if not worse… but then I guess as far as they’re concerned what’s one more name for the mill huh? Maybe these people should take a good long hard look at themselves… nobody around these parts are squeaky clean. 

But then, what rite do they have to be making these claims in the first place. Did our gay youth get up one day and say to them... "Hey, your big and strong and old... can you be my protector?". Somehow I highly doubt that. Me, I have no illusions that I'm some rainbow purple caped crusader... I've never turned anyone away, but I don't go looking for fights either. What rite do I have to impose my will upon anyone... that's right... no rite at all... I hope people can learn from this... 

COURAGE AND HONOUR!!

Summertime is on the way...